Briann Wharry: I already RMA'd the board. Sometimes it is just easier to start fresh, especially when (a) it was fairly simple to just exchange boards, rather than try to solve the BIOS issues, and (b) the endless loop BIOS problem wasn't simply the loop, but the inability to change any settings in the BIOS that would stick.
So, until Intel figures out the BIOS endless loop/bricked your computer issue, the ONLY change I'll make to the BIOS on the new board will be the SATA controller.